Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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