Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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