i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
tell me about the fingering
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