I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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