M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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