If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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