It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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