She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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