Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
