hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
