AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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