It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
