we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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