If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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