Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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