would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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