bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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