Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
