yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
