Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
