I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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