He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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