How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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