I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
