For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
