i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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