i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
