i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
