He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
