I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Buhtt sex?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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