..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The best revenge is premature balding
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
