Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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