I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize