I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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