Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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