I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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