I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
