I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
