i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
