he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
