you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
