I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
