Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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