So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
