so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
