so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
