He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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