Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
