he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
