Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
