I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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