Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
