I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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