The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
