WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
