Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
