I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
