He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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